Swiggity-swooty, I’m coming for that booty… and by “booty”, I mean “pirate’s treasure” because I respect everyone’s bodily autonomy.
It’s Shark Week (again) and it’s the most magical time of the year for those of us in the Sharkophile community who collect – no, CRAVE – all of the glorious shark-themed swag. Starting about 6 weeks before Shark Week airs, and continuing for another 4 weeks after the Discovery-sponsored event ends, fans are fed anything and everything with a shark emblazoned upon it – coffee mugs, t-shirts, foam hats, plastic dive fins, adult beverage recipes, cakes, shoes, sunglasses, and so on. You name it and, if it has a shark on it, it’s just one credit card away from your grasp.
Along with the onslaught of swag comes the equally formidable onslaught of Top 10 lists that flood the internet. All of the major entertainment and news outlets online feature at least one Top 10 Shark Swag list during the Summer of Fin, and most are just a somewhat-disappointing list of Amazon.com search results. While this is great for gag gifts and tchotchkes, and often filters down into holiday gifts for unsuspecting shark fans (Seriously, Mom, stop giving me shark socks for Christmas.), it creates an awful lots of trash and I recently started to wonder… “Is there a better way to buy and give the gift of Elasmobranches?”
Like any good pirate, I’m on the hunt for this year’s best shark-themed treasures to share with my friends and family. This year, though, my focus is on items that actually contribute to the research, rescue, conservation and education of my beloved sharks, and are less likely to end up in a landfill after the novelty has worn off.
Clutch your claspers, boys! You’re in for a Top 10 list that’s SO GOOD it’ll make you forget you have a high interest APR…. FOR SCIENCE (and conservation)!
1. Sharks 4 Kids: Sharky Skype in the Classroom
Price: $15.00 + Up
Knowledge is power, and education is a gift that can never be taken away. For this reason, I’m starting off by featuring the Sharky Skype program offered by Sharks 4 Kids. For a very reasonable and affordable sum, parents and teachers can schedule a shark education session for their classroom. Students will participate in a short, on-line seminar highlighting their favorite fish – sharks! What better gift than bonding together over education, while also fostering the future of marine biology?
2. Saving the Blue: Shark Silhouette Shirt
Price: $25.00
Focused on the recovery and restoration of threatened marine species, Saving the Blue is a new non-profit organization established by Dr. Tristan Guttridge and marine wildlife photographer, Annie Guttridge. Both of Shark Week fame, the Guttridges work within a network of well-established conservationists to further scientific efforts and provide education for marine-bound students. This shirt is pretty darn cool, featuring a design by Annie herself, and modeled by Tristan during Shark Week 2019. He looked amazing wearing it, and you will, too… Plus, you get the swagger of a PHD without the student loan debt.
3. Bimini Biological Field Station: SharkLab Monthly Membership
Price: $5.00
Here’s another great gift for the kids! The Bimini SharkLab is infamous, having provided more than 30 years of research and data on the crowd-pleasing favorite, Lemon Sharks. With this monthly contribution, your own budding scientist can get a sneak peek into the going’s on at the lab with advanced access to pictures, video, science newsletters, and more. Kids will love bonding with the seasonal staff, learning about internship experiences, and following the life-cycle of an active research lab.
4. Chesapeake Bay Foundation: Save the Bay Business Tie
Price: $52.40
Feeling fashion forward? Want to display your love of marine conservation in a professional setting? Wearing this tie, which features the CBF logo, tells the office and the world that you’re a man who understands how it’s all connected – and you’re willing to stay the course to save the bay. The Chesapeake Bay Foundation is a conservation and education group that works within the Maryland, Delaware, Virginia, and Washington DC watershed area to promote the preservation of brackish waterways and the Chesapeake Bay in those connected areas.
5. 4Ocean: Shark Bracelet
Price: $20.00
An Instagram-friendly favorite, 4Ocean has taken over social media with their aggressive, conservation-focused media campaign. Known for protecting sharks and other marine life, 4Ocean actively works in different communities around the world to clean up beaches, reefs, rivers, and the open ocean – working to save habitats from invasive plastics and trash. If you have a friend who’s constantly “doing it for The Gram”, then this is the gift for them. #4Ocean for new Likes and Followers.
6. Atlantic White Shark Conservancy: Metal Shark Home Décor
Price: $70.00
No Top 10 List would be complete without some sort of home décor item and, in this case, it comes in the form of an 18” Great White Shark made of metal that can be proudly displayed on your wall. Each piece is unique, just like the sharks themselves, and each limited edition piece is specially crafted to promote the beauty and majesty of sharks. The AWSC is one of the few shark conservation and research groups that works in North America, and studies not only Great Whites as they migrate through northern coastal waters – but also the seasonal appearance of Porbeagles (a rarer species and my personal favorite). Cold water sharks need love, too!
7. Project AWARE: Dive Against Debris Mesh Bag
Price: $10.00
As a SCUBA diver myself, I always take a shine to non-profit groups that work within the dive community to promote the protection of marine habitats. Uniquely poised to leverage the power of the global SCUBA enthusiast community, Project AWARE focuses on cleaning and maintaining marine ecosystems. Divers can now practice conservation and mindfulness as they cruise the reefs of the ocean with this compact and re-usable mesh trash bag. See some trash on your dive? Pick it up, proudly put it in your AWARE bag, and remind mariners that the trash doesn’t disappear just because it leaves the boat.
8. Shark Angels: Adopt-A-Shark (Hammerhead)
Price: $55.00
This particular item is probably intended for kids but, let’s be honest – the adults want them, too. Shark Angels has provided us with the opportunity to adopt a shark! In an effort to fund their ongoing research programs, adopting a shark allows you to pick from a couple of different species, to name the shark, and then learn more about the newest member of your family. It also includes an adorable plush rendering of your shark, to remind you of how adorable your investment in science can really be.
9. Shark Trust: Greeting Cards
Price: $7.33
The Shark Trust is a globally-active marine conservation group with a focus on sharks and restoring global marine ecology. Which is great but, HOW CUTE are these CARDS? Featuring unique sharky designs, each card is graced with a grinning set of chompers and an uplifting message. Great for friends and family members who enjoy sending each other thoughtful notes, each set of 4 cards generates a donation. JAWsome!
10. Reef Relief: Snorkeling the Florida Keys
Price: $19.95
Learning about coral reefs and sharks in the safety of your own home is great, but adventuring out into the ocean and seeing it for yourself is something special. Snorklers and their families can explore the very popular Florida Reef and learn about it’s many wrecks, lighthouses, and state parks in advance of their next Florida Keys vacation. This knowledge-packed volume generates not only donations for Reef Relief, but inspires the reader to become a part of their protection and restoration efforts.
Do you feel empowered to help save sharks, the ocean, and have a GREAT WHITE time doing it? If sharks are your passion, adventure is your calling, and science is your muse – then these gifts are perfect for you. Now, don’t be shy, save yourself from another awkward gift of shark socks and share this list. Your friends, family, and coworkers want to know what inspires you – and they’ll feel good knowing they found a gift with staying power.
Personally, I’m always open to receiving unsolicited gifts. Pirates are big fans of nautical acquisition and redistribution.